2022 Mar 15


@March 15, 2022 7:28 AM (EDT)

Anger is a cloud

@March 15, 2022 12:31 PM (EDT)

Welcome to Delirious Dean, a newsletter written by my “second-layer” pseudonym. Another paradox I’ve found is that retreating deeper and deeper into fabricated identities lets you get closer and closer to becoming yourself.

@March 15, 2022 4:26 PM (EDT)

The fear of being correct, exposed, alienated, or damned is the kind of fear that chokes the life out of the written word.

@March 15, 2022 7:32 PM (EDT)

List of newsletter ideas:

  • Newsletter Junkyard
  • Rabbit Soup
  • The Flash
  • Schmetaverse
  • Resurrecting Christ
  • Justin Hall: The OG Online Writer
  • Satanists at the Biltmore
  • The New Mexican Highway Crash
  • Hallucination Salesman
  • The Center of Mount Shasta
  • Neos & the Virtual Underground
  • Joel Haver
  • Tree Farm Wars
  • Back in the USSR
  • Faul McCartney
  • The Note-Taking Rebellion
  • Twitter is American Idol

@March 15, 2022 8:29 PM (EDT)


  • Dylan: imagery
  • Kerouac: ecstasy
  • Thompson: shock
  • Vonnegut: auto-fiction
  • McKenna: visionary
  • Wright: organic
  • Pessoa: identity
  • Dead: improv
  • Woolf: consciousness
  • Radiohead: heavy
  • Dali: surreal
  • Kafka: grotesque

@March 15, 2022 11:54 PM (EDT)

Our sensations.. are the only reality we have for certain, we take refuge there, exploring them like large unknown countries.. [We should focus on] not only [on].. aesthetic contemplation, but also .. the expression of it.. The poetry or prose we write— devoid of any desire to move anyone else’s will, or to mould anyone’s understanding— is merely like when a reader reads out loud to fully objectify the subjective pleasure of reading.. Dreaming all things so as to transform them into our own substance, we will also write down descriptions and analyses which, when they’re finished, will become extraneous things that we can enjoy as if they happened along one day.” Pessoa, Disquiet, p.12

Consciousness as we know it as only as rich as the language we have around it. In the act of attempting to transcribe the rich textures of experience into the lossy medium of text, you not only stretch language, but this new language changes the experience of consciousness itself..

What are these “large unknown counties” beneath consciousness? As rich as a waking human life is, imagine if what we’ve ever known is just a sliver of the possible ranges of human consciousness?

Putting consciousness on the page is a valuable pursuit, without needing to change anyone’s mind about it. It’s simply erecting a window where there was typically a wall. It’s stretching language so one can estimate what it’s actually like being in your head.

The memorialization of consciousness..

The dual of act of plunging into the depths of your own consciousness, while also stretching your ability to use language to communicate it. Both steps are required. A plunger without prose has no way to prove where he’s been. A linguist who can’t scuba dive has nothing worth articulating. But these two traits fused together leads to something special: the articulation of exotic realms of mind. If these realms can be understood by others, they can be inhabited.

By showing what consciousness can be, others inhabit it. By showing what language can be, others adopter. The diver-turned-poet evolves culture.